I'm not really doing that well at the moment, I'm currently going through some hard times, so its really hard to keep up with comic updating and funniness when I really just don't feel like doing anything funny. Me and my mum are really struggling at the moment with money, and its just a really depressing situation which sucks when you're trying to write a humour comic. Anyway, that's what's happening, and that's probably why I'm getting a little lame and dull for the past few updates.
I've discovered, that when I have nothing to do, everything on the internet is rather bland and boring. I just surf and browse and wonder: "What am I doing?" But the moment I have sometrhing important coming up, IE. My Mid-term Exams, everything on the internet suddenly beacuse incredibly INTERESTING, EVERYTHING IS SO INTERESTING! Which is the reason for me writing a Blog entry now.
I am currently in th emiddle of my Mid-term exams, the exams that will decide my first semester fate and whether I'm worthy of studying at this school or not. I'm one of those people who is terrible at studying, I just don't have the self discipline for it, nor the drive. If someone held a gun to my head and screamed: "YOU MUST STUDY FOR HISTORY OR I WILL SHOOT YOUR BRAINS OUT" I'd just stare at the books for about five seconds, look at my watch and say: "When's my next break? Can I have a donut? Nice gun, btw." Studying just doesn't come naturally, or work for me. My brain is built like a rusted out pot anyway, where all information poured in just falls away through the rusted bottom and onto your new pair of All Star Sneakers, so it doesn't really work anyway. People say that if I study, I shall acheive great things. No, fuck that. I totally bet Picasso didn't do any study, he just sat down and pracitced cubism until he was awesome and was like: "Oh yeah!"
I am determined to be one of those people who doesn't study and acheives great things.
I'm also thinking about creating my own business, should I sell Avon products? Or should I make a Meth Lab?
Meth labs are far more sucessful in the long run.
AT the moment, I've only sat two exams, English (Advanced) and Geography. English was alright, but as you know, english teachers love nothing better than to ask you to determine what secret, hidden meaning is displayed by a poet's use of the word "The" at the beginning of a stansa. Geography, on the other hand, was a bullshit fest where everyone got dirty and smelly. It wasn't that the questions were hard, just very annoying and difficult to put into words, and not to mention, there wasn't nearly enough time to finish the lengthy exam. None of my geography class finished. It was very long, and very tedious. Even the multiple Choice questions were complicated and tedious to figure out. And when I did figure it, my anser wasn't one of the Four options. Which probably means, I'm wrong and just really really stupid and can't count.
Right now, I have the whole day free, and I've been sitting here on a bench tapping away on my laptop on my own, while drinking some Coke Zero (Zero sugar but Twice the badassery). Now I have to study, FAREWELL!
OH and comics will be coloured and updated next week HOPEFULLY. I have several drawn and ready to go, just not coloured. Damn thse exams, damn them to hell!!
Yesterday I had my first kiss. It wasn't what I was expecting. Mainly beacuse I wasn't expecting it to come from a thirty year old guy, dressed as an Ottoman Empire Knight with glasses. He tricked me, being the cunning Knight that he was. He asked for a volunteer to be a "fair maiden" and I was like: "HOT PISS, I'M A MAIDEN!" And shoved my hand up. Well I wasn't expecting to get picked, but I was, and I sauntered onto the feild in full view of the crowd and the guy goes: "ARE YOU A VIRGIN?"
My answer was: "YEAH BRO!"
His reply was: "You look guilty."
My reply was to pull this face :O
He took me aside and asked my name and announced it to the crowd. He then said: "And now, two kinghts will fight over you for your hand in marriage!" To which my answer was: "Oh great." Because one looked like Hagrid, and the other like Pappa Smurf. Before the knights faught, however, the man turned to me and said: "AND NOW, we need a kiss form the fair maiden to start the battle." I said: "LOLWHUT?" He was laughing, and said: "But to save you from kissing these two, you'll just have to kiss me, on the cheek!" And I said, naturally, "Just the cheek? Um.... *worried glance at mother* alright?"
"EXCELLENT!" He cried. He then said: "And now, count down from five everyone! Five, four, three..."
I was red in the face by this point.
I leaned in to kiss him on the cheek and THEN... He turned at the last minute and got me on the lips. I staggered back, trying to understand what just happened, because hey, I just had a random guy snog me and it felt like someone was shoving straw into my face.
The crowd laughed, and surprisingly, mum was laughing. I was laughing, but my face was really red and I was like: "HAHAHAHAHHA I'LL KILL YOU HAHAHAHAHA."
The battle started between Hagrid and Pappa Smurf, and I stood back with the guy who just tricked me into my first kiss. He was still smiling and said: "Hey, thanks for being such a good sport!" And I didn't say anything, because my face still felt like it was covered in straw, and that was really wierd. The battle ended, and it turns out that I'm now married to Hagrid the Noble Knight. I had to kinght him with a sword, I took the sword, did the whole knighting bit, as lady like as I could.
And then he said it again...
"And now we need one more kiss from our maiden to end the battle officially!"
By this point I could barely remember my name and my face still felt like it was covered in straw.
He started counting down again, and I had no idea what was happening, and I said so. He laughed, pointed to his cheek and said: "One the cheek again." I glared at him, remembered I had a giant fucking sword in my hand, and held it at the ready. He counted down to one, and I leaned in again, being the idiot that I was, and ONCE AGAIN, THIS CHEEKY BUGGER TURNED AT THE LAST MOMENT and got me on the mouth, and says: "Hahah you flinched that time!"
To which I replied: "Well that's because I was going to cut your balls off with this sword, but it was super heavy and I couldn't swing it."
I went back into the crowd, violated and still feeling like straw was on my face, and my mum started laughing and said: "HAHAH I WISH I HAD A CAMERA!"
And that is the story of how I got my first AND second kiss from a man dressed as an Ottoman Empire Knight at Ironfest.
I have exams, I should really start studying for those. Oh yes indeedy. OH, and I am going to be a tad late updating because of these exams... soooooo yeah, but I've got some sketched and ready to colour right after the exams, so no need to worry mah friends.
Sitting in Modern History like a Boss not doing the work I'm supposed to do, I'm so hardcore, like, completely Tank, bros--
"CLOSE THAT WINDOW AND GET BACK TO WORK"
Just kidding. Anyway guys, I thought I'd just write a little here about what I'm doing. Currently, the website where I host most of my stuff (Drunkduck.com) is switching servers, and the new website is kinda gay on my computer at home and doens't really work. So I decided to make another website, just so Gods Almighty could keep going and fans could still follow and weren't going to die from depression or something because they haven't gotten their daily dose of retardation.
(I have far older comics on there, so check it out bitches at http://www.drunkduck.com/Gods_Almighty/ )
So yes, I'll probably be uploading every two days, at least, after my Exams which are next week, where I will momentarily become a hermit, studying like some... studying hermit. And after that I'll return and upload more comics, because hey, I've got lots. As you may or may not have noticed, I am new to this website, so things are a little difficult for me in understanding and figuring out how to do things, so please bear with me. I'll be good when I learn.
SO YES. LEARNING.